• Mercury Retrograde January 2016 – An Experiment

    Day One Mercury Retrograde. While my “plan” to do things differently essentially involves what I “do” when I return home from work in the evening, I couldn’t help but begin wondering what that change would look like tonight. The techno trance I fall into by habit is is so very addictive… It’s like having a martini after a rough day… Exactly! So this plan is to experience other choices… I’ve been watching the cats this morning…. They certainly know how to just BE!

    Day Two Mercury Retrograde. So, the exercise is to unplug from as much technology as possible in the evenings when I normally am in a techno trance and to BE in my life in a different way during that period. Yesterday – first day! – I succeeded in turning off stuff and in not watching sci fi DVDs as is the norm. I went to bed really really early, slept well for me, and woke up to kitty caresses at 2 am. I think there’s room for expansion here!

    Day Three Mercury Retrograde. The plan to unplug from technology in the evenings continues…. Well, this was essentially the same as Day Two… No internet, no phone, no fb, no sci fi dvd… Went to bed at 6 pm!! However… I realized why I was so intensely tired both days (in addition to yesterday’s 2 am kitty wakeup call)… I’m fighting off a cold! Which makes perfect sense: cold’s are often an indicator of overwhelm and are the body’s way of saying SLOW DOWN! So the synchronicity of this unplug experience is amazing!

    Day Four Mercury Retrograde. Evening unplug experience is the same: no phone, no internet, no fb, no dvds or other tech stuff… bed at 6:30… but it’s becoming clear to me (through the fog of this cold) that it’s not about DOING something different (i.e. I don’t need to start making myself go out in the evenings) but about FEELING and BEING in a different way – minus the self-imposed rules and expectations; minus the habitual or addictive behaviors (Starting a flower essence combo to help release those: Chestnut Bud, Sagebrush, Self Heal and Zinnia!). It’s also clear that unplugging is very important in accomplishing this! (We know this already, don’t we??) Wow!

    Day Five Mercury Retrograde. The evening unplug experience seems to be expanding. On Fridays I don’t work at the office, so yesterday I spent the day pretty much totally unplugged. Did some food shopping, made yellow lentil soup and some almond bread. Basically I just did what felt good and nurturing. (Baking bread always grounds me and puts me in an open and expansive place.) I noticed immediately the change in the energy – in me and around me – when I did connect to the internet for an hour or so during the day (though no evening technology and early bed again!). Little by little the message/lesson is being absorbed by my mind!

    Today, a New Moon, I’m starting the day with a 7 am group meditation at a Buddhist temple. This will add an interesting flavor to this experience!

    Day Six Mercury Retrograde. The experiential project to unplug from technology in the evenings further unfolds. The 2-hour meditation “class” yesterday was absolutely delightful, especially the rainy walking meditation in the interior courtyard of the Buddhist Temple. Taking this time for stillness, for myself, truly accentuated the way I feel about “time” and what’s around me… I noticed this morning that I’m not so rushed, not so concerned about what time it is and what I need to do or where I need to go. It’s as if time has slowed down in my heart and I hear it! We’ll see how this carries over to the work week…

    Oh, and I worked in the garden most of the afternoon after the meditation (first time since Blackie passed … saw him everywhere…), had a long bath and in the evening I listened to music for over an hour (danced a little too!) and read… early to bed (still working on the head cold, and I’m a very early riser!).

    I knew that unplugging would make a difference, but never imagined it would happen so quickly! Looking forward to more… !

    Day Seven Mercury Retrograde. More on the evening unplug experience… Each day of this seems to deepen my inner understanding, knowing, feeling, of what it is to be me…. and to what lengths I will go to avoid being that on a moment by moment basis. The amount of “time” spent thinking about what “I need to do”, what I could do… about stuff that may or may not come up in the future… inhibits me from totally enjoying and experiencing the flow I’m in. And in the process of noticing this going on, I see and feel old issues coming up, once again, for me to say goodbye to. Quite an interesting thing! Still unplugged after 5ish, still early bed. And my feline family is waiting somewhat patiently for me to spend more of my unplugged time with them…

    Day Eight Mercury Retrograde. The plan is to unlug from all technology in the evenings; to create a space to do and be differently. Well, that seems to be happening. And of course, it’s not what I “thought” it would be (probably not what you thought either, those of you who have been following this experience) Yesterday, back to the office, creating the after-work time that I’ve been wanting to change… So a “new” activity was added last night: I sat reading with the cats for awhile till my eyes wouldn’t stay open (early). (I keep hearing “don’t wanna…!”) Big sigh….my new FB page photos say it all: hmmmmm and pouty petulance!

    Day Nine Mercury Retrograde. So I’m successful in unplugging from technology in the evenings. So far. Yet, I’m still clearing a head cold and who knows what else. I have zero energy and basically only do what I “have to”. (Still hearing ” don’t wanna” a lot). I did not walk the labyrinth last night… couldn’t muster the energy to leave the house once I got home from the office. Went to bed at 6 pm. Feeling a bit judgmental of myself on the one hand, but otherwise am very curious about this process.

    Day Ten Mercury Retrograde. The evening unplug experience continues to unfold. Nothing obviously different… still very tired and going to bed very early. Though I am noticing that honoring my body (by taking the time to enjoy good food and exercise, take long baths) has an incredible opening affect on my spirit. A part of being totally present!

    Day Eleven Mercury Retrograde. It’s becoming excruciatingly clear that there is more to unpug from than technology! Just finished reading the Magicians series (a gift from Jim)… and realize that I/we spend lots and lots of time doing things (like reading) to “escape” just BEING who we are. No judgment here about reading! just an observation… Still to bed early, though the head cold is gradually clearing. The next few days should be interesting (I’m presenting a Sensuality workshop tomorrow)…

    Day Twelve Mercury Retrograde. Facilitating the Sensuality workshop in a few minutes… having the unplug time has given me much more “time” to connect with spirit, particularly about the workshop… should be a good one!

    Day Thirteen Mercury Retrograde. Yesterday! Wow, what an amazing Sensuality workshop! Had a delightful picnic lunch at Crescent Park on the river as a part of it. Still unplugged in the evenings… Jim and I talked for a couple of hours last night,,, stayed up till 8 pm!!!! (Yes, this sounds trivial… but for me it’s not only a shift in habit and attitude about the evenings, but also truly a big shift in consciousness, for which I am excited)

    Day Fourteen Mercury Retrograde. Unplugged last night, read till 8 pm with the kitties… back to the office today and I get to see just how much my consciousness has shifted!

    Day Fifteen Mercury Retrograde. I see, feel, know, etc that it’s not about what I DO but what I FEEL (have I said this already??). I wanted to change my evening habits by unplugging from technology in the evenings… just doing that is a change in habit! And what results from that is truly amazing. At the moment, what I’m experiencing is a deep realization that my sparkle of life is not alone, no matter how I isolate myself… there are many many other sparkles around me ready to interact and communicate and play with me – humans, cats, trees, whales, ETs. And they are doing the same thing that I’m doing: waiting for me to throw the ball. Here goes….

    Day Sixteen Mercury Retrograde. Not every sparkle of life wants to play… or play with me… or play the way that I want to play. Business folks seem to have a lot of rules that they hide behind to inhibit their play… and the labyrinth was canceled because the organist retired. So, I see/feel that my “responsibility” in this is to just sparkle on, being the sparkle that I am. You can’t hide from sparkles.

    Day Seventeen Mercury Retrograde. Somewhat at a loss for words… just observing. I’m noticing that I’m still exhausted when I come home from the office despite being over the head cold. What’s that about? That’s another piece of the sparkle…

    Day Eighteen Mercury Retrograde. Coming to the end of the retrograde period. Feeling excited about this project coming to an end… and noticing that some of the old “habits” are calling to me… yet… it’s not the same… never the same… and THAT is an important piece of this experience. Each moment is new and fresh and deserves to be experienced as such, whether it’s the “same old thing” or something completely different.
    PS…. It’s all about being the Love…

    Day Nineteen Mercury Retrograde. Feels like deep doodoo here… something big is clearly about to let loose (at least I hope it does… ).

    Day Twenty Mercury Retrograde. Nearing the end of this. Whew! Meditation, exercise, water, and breathing have gotten me through it. Oh, and sleep!

    Day Twenty-One Mercury Retrograde. Mercury goes direct today!! This project was meant to be a kick in the butt to change my habits in the evening… to maybe start doing some different things, stop being a vegetable… What it turned out to be was a doorway (or maybe a window) into my inner workings that I opened in the process of this experiment/experience. I noticed that once the door/window was opened I didn’t necessarily have to go though it, that just the act of opening gave permission for things to change and come forward… and they did! May not have been what I thought I was looking for but it sure as hell was profound! So glad I did this… and am so glad that it’s come to a completion!

    copyright © Faun Fenderson

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